he might be the one. part ii.

i sent that little story over to peter priesthood at why mormon girls stay single. told him i'd give him credit for every blog post he's ever written if he could explain that dude to me.

his reply:

Aubry,

So these guys do exist! You better get on that Aubs!!!! No seriously, this little post gave me a little chuckle, but I know his deal.

-First, he's in denial of being socially awkward. No one with common sense needs to post this anywhere. Makes me wonder, "What books was he actually reading to become more 'real world" inclined?"

-Second, this self education is probably some mantra he picked up from Tony Robbins. Self-help books don't necessarily correlate with self education.

-Third, he might have "good teeth," but he is suspect of having the exact same smile of his mentally retarded twin.

-Fourth, mucho importante scares me. I have a hunch the date will contain at least 5 references to his Spanish-speaking mission spoken in its "Mother Tongue"

-Fifth, speaking of tongue."There's nothing better than sitting around a roaring campfire eating smores as the chocolate oozes out the edges and you get to lick it up and try not to burn your tongue." That killed me! He just turned the child-like wholesome act of eating s'mores into a dirty, sex-provoking act.

-Sixth, yes he's not looking for a Molly Mormon, because apparently his Peter Priesthood act didn't bowl over to well. He's also a sex-deprived 28 year old. He's just horny. Period.

-Seventh, "I'll take you somewhere I GUARANTEE you've never been before." The only place he can guarantee is probably the after-life. So, I'd be a little hesitant about this sketch statement. Run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Eighth, he's not the reason why Mormon girls stay single, he's the reason why he's staying single, for a very long time.

-Ninth, he's a product of being enabled. He's probably seen too many other girls text, and email their way into a date and feel like if his resume is good enough, they'll come knocking on his door as well. He's a little backwards, because no girl actually want to feel like she was the fire-starter. Maybe a little flirting is good, but actually answer a freaking want ad? C'mon people, seriously?!?!

-Tenth, using his height and fresh breath as his selling points are telling. He only uses physical characteristics to possibly mask his emotional, spiritual deficiencies. Good luck with that.

-Eleventh, he actually isn't a risk taker, since he had to post this ad instead of walking up to an interesting girl to start small talk. That's what's missing these days, real sweat-inducing risk. Guys will never appreciate what they've got unless they take the risks for the ones they want.

-Twelfth, I genuinely feel bad for the kid. Losing a mother can definitely be difficult, but dude just turned himself into a pity date.

-And finally thirteenth, I take back part of #8. There is a someone fro everyone. Shocking as it might sound, I see it daily how people can defy the laws of nature to 1) Find a legitimate spouse 2) Have the audacity to procreate 3) Succeed in that process.

Hopefully this was enough information on this guy.

Peter Priesthood.

WORD, PETER. WORD.